Scott Miller on his wedding day
A few days ago one of my dearest friends, Debbie, lost her husband Scott, whom I unfortunately only met a few times (including their wedding) because they live in Atlanta. I liked him a lot instantly – because he’s a great guy – but first and foremost because it was so apparent how genuine and strong their love for each other was. I had missed Debbie ever since she left New York (and I knew she missed NYC sometimes), but when I saw them together for the first time, it was so obvious that this is where she belonged.
Scott and Debbie
Scott had been struggling with severe health issues and had been on the list for a new kidney and pancreas for a while. The health issues caused a lot of hardship for them through the years and I always admired their strength and energy, in their work with the Scott Miller Fundraiser, figuring out the medical and insurance issues and dealing with life under pressure. At the end of all the struggle he was supposed to have a new kidney and they were supposed to have a great life together. It’s just heart-breaking that it turned out otherwise.
Before sending Debbie a mix tape a few days ago, I decided to delete “There Is XXXX (Within My Heart)” (a song about sadness and love) because the band’s name You Say Party! We Say Die! seemed to be in poor taste at this time. Then I read this morning that Devon Clifford, the 30-year-old drummer of that very band, had passed away yesterday as well (due to a brain hemorrhage while playing on stage). The song itself suddenly felt even more appropriate.
It’s all so unpredictable and so much is uncontrollable.
On a trivial side note: I was supposed to move to Germany today, but due to the unpredictable volcano and cloud of ashes, my flight was canceled and I don’t know when I’ll be able to go. Yet, what is that in the face of death? Nothing. Debbie herself took time to comment on my flight dilemma with “Don’t fight it, sweetie.”
And all these words keep ringing in my head during these challenging days: Don’t fight it. Because you can’t control it. So enjoy what you have while you have it. And instead focus on the love within your heart.
Thinking of Debbie & Scott and the special love they had, of their families and friends and of Devon Clifford and his loved ones…
Now I have cried
My share of tears in the night
And felt the pain
An emptiness deep inside
Then a beautiful bird
Soared into my life
And with wings outstretched
It flew straight into my heart
There is love within my heart
There’s love, love, love…